i hate my stepkids… now what do i do?

It’s hard to evoke your inner Mary Poppins when your step kids forget to flush the toilet, hate your spaghetti and get between you and your partner. Everyone feels frustrated at times. However, if you’re beginning to feel like you really can’t stand your stepchildren – in fact, you downright hate them, something isn’t right.

It’s normal
First off – All parents feel angry towards their children at times. So it’s totally understandable that a step parent, who gets a lot of the rubbish and less of the cuddles, may start to dislike their stepchildren. When hurt feelings go unnoticed and unsorted for too long, it’s understandable for dislike to become hate.

Some children are harder work than others. But they are still children and their behavior  is dictated by the adults around them. This is a good thing. This means a child’s behavior can change.  

Diagnosis the real problem

 If you are ‘not allowed’ to exert authority or discipline, it’s little wonder you begin to hate the child’s who makes you feel powerless.If you get very little quality time with your partner, it makes sense you become resentful of the little person who does get time and attention. If you really hate your stepchildren (however passionately) it usually has little to do with them, and more to do with how you and your partner approach issues surrounding the kids. The best way to diagnose and solve the issue is by asking yourself these questions.

  • How well do you know your stepchild/children?
    - how much quality time with your stepchilddo you have?  
  • Are your needs as a partner being met?
    - do you get quality time alone together?
    - do you feel valued and respected as a partner?
  • Are your needs as a co-parent being met?
    -do you feel respected as a co-parent, by the children and your partner?
    -can you solve child related disagreements together?

The answers to the questions above will help work out where your strong feelings are coming from. It’s not great secret that life would be simpler if there was less baggage to deal with. But don’t let the nail in the coffin for your relationship be blaming your stepchildren for issues you can’t diagnose. When it comes to step parenting, you have to learn how to climb the trunk before you and your partner can be sitting in the tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

If you have found yourself on this page, please please visit impact of step parenting on relationships.

One Response to i hate my stepkids… now what do i do?

  1. all three says:

    Fantastic views on that!

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